Automatic Sprinkler

As you know, Paul is now potty trained. He sits just like a big boy and does a pretty good job. Well, somehow he got the idea in his head that he should stand to go. I was willing to let him, but, no more. As a side note, the toilet in our downstairs bathroom is booby trapped for boys. If you lift the seat, it falls back down after a few seconds. This has never really been a concern for me, but this day it proved fatal. Paul stood in front of the seat, and I stood directly behind him with my knees against his back to keep him close enough to the seat. I also held the lid so it wouldn't fall and injure/scare him. So, it started. And, I assumed that aiming was just like aiming a gun, point and shoot. No. Things don't always come out the way you expect. So, Paul's first shot hit the bathroom wall and started to swing wildly from there. In panic, I let go of the seat and tried to steady his aim. SLAM!! The seat slammed down hard and fast. I grabbed it up again, but Paul was on a roll. This boy could get a part time job as an automatic sprinkler. By the time we were done, he had sprayed the entire seat, three walls, his pants and ME! I was standing BEHIND him, so don't ask how it happened. All I know is that, between me trying to steady him a couple more times, the seat trying to fall a couple more times, and a bladder that has never been more full, it was a wet mess. I wish I could say that I kept my temper and all ended well, but that would be someone else's mom. I put my hands on the toilet tank and gave it a bit of a shove, hoping that I could push it back just enough to keep it from knocking over the lid. Bad idea. The tank now has a hairline fracture on the back and a very slow drip. Fortunately, my dad is a great fixer guy, and he says it will only take a little JB Weld and work, so the story ends well. In the meantime, Paul does not stand and go. Sitting will be just fine until he is a little older and a little more controlled.